Okay, fixed vs growth mindset is legit haunting me, like that time I got lost in a Chicago alley last week, phone dead, swearing I’m “just bad at directions.” I’m typing this in a noisy Philly coffeeshop, the espresso machine hissing like it’s judging me, and I’m spilling my guts—flaws, dumb moments, all of it. Like, I used to think I was doomed at anything mathy, fixed mindset screaming, “You’re not built for numbers, dude.” But then I had this moment, right, teaching myself Excel for a gig last month, cursing at my laptop screen in my cramped apartment, and I actually figured it out. Not perfect, but progress, ya know? That’s growth mindset sneaking in, messy as it is. Anyway, here’s my raw, unfiltered take—human, a little embarrassing, and definitely not polished.
My Fixed vs Growth Mindset Fiasco
Let’s rewind to 2019, me in Austin, sweating through a T-shirt in 100-degree heat, bombing a job interview ’cause I choked on a coding question. I was all “I’m just not a tech guy,” fixed mindset on blast, eating tacos later and feeling sorry for myself, the hot sauce burning my lips worse than the rejection. I remember sitting on my buddy’s couch, beer in hand, thinking I’d never get it. But then he drags me to this coding bootcamp meetup—smelled like stale pizza and hope—and I started tinkering. Made a fool of myself asking basic questions, voice cracking like a teenager, but by the end, I built a tiny app. That shift from “I can’t” to “I’m learning” was my fixed vs growth mindset wake-up call, even if I still cringe at how sweaty I was.
Then there’s relationships—oh boy. I dated this guy in Denver, and I kept bailing on tough talks, thinking “We’re just not meant to be,” classic fixed mindset cop-out. We’d argue over dumplings at this hole-in-the-wall spot, steam clouding my glasses, and I’d shut down. But he was all growth mindset, pushing us to work through it. I hated it, felt exposed, but sticking it out taught me fixed vs growth mindset isn’t just about skills—it’s how you handle life’s mess. I still slip up, like last week yelling at my GPS for “sucking” when I missed a turn, but then I laughed, rerouted, and moved on.
Fixed vs Growth Mindset: How I Spot Mine in the Chaos
How do you know if you’re rocking a fixed vs growth mindset? For me, it’s those everyday moments, like burning my toast this morning—fixed me would’ve chucked it and said “I’m hopeless in the kitchen.” Growth me? I tweaked the toaster settings, still ate the slightly charred bits. It’s about catching your brain’s BS. Here’s my mental checklist I run while dodging Philly potholes or spilling coffee:
- Screw up a work email? Do I hide or ask my boss what’s up?
- New hobby, like guitar? Quit when my fingers hurt or watch YouTube tutorials?
- Someone’s better at something? Get jealous or study their moves?
I’m not perfect—yesterday I sulked when my coworker got props for a project, fixed mindset creeping in like “I’ll never be that good.” But then I asked her for tips over Zoom, feeling dumb but doing it anyway. That’s the growth mindset grind, right? For more on this, Carol Dweck’s book “Mindset” is the real deal—changed how I see myself. Check it out: https://www.amazon.com/Mindset-Psychology-Success-Carol-Dweck/dp/0345472322. Her TED Talk’s dope too: https://www.ted.com/talks/carol_dweck_the_power_of_believing_that_you_can_improve.
Tips to Switch Your Fixed vs Growth Mindset (From My Screw-Ups)
Alright, here’s what I’ve learned, mostly the hard way. First, write down your fails. I got this beat-up journal in my bag—coffee stains and all—where I scribble “What sucked? What’s next?” after messing up, like when I botched a presentation last week, my cat jumping on my keyboard mid-call. Embarrassing, but rereading it helps me see growth mindset patterns. Second, hang with people who push you. My Philly crew? They’re all “You’ll get it next time” when I whine about sucking at yoga—fell flat on my face in class, mat smelling like regret.
Third, celebrate the small stuff. I legit cheered when I didn’t burn my eggs yesterday, shifting that fixed vs growth mindset one breakfast at a time. Also, read up—this Harvard piece nails it: https://hbr.org/2016/01/what-having-a-growth-mindset-actually-means. But real talk? I backslide. Tax season hits, and I’m panicking over forms, muttering “Numbers aren’t my thing.” Fixed mindset creeps in, and I’m a mess, like right now, distracted by this loud-ass coffee grinder, tempted to give up typing. Instead, I breathe, sip my overpriced latte, and keep going. Try saying “I’m working on it” instead of “I can’t”—sounds cheesy, but it works.
Fixed vs Growth Mindset Traps I Keep Falling Into
- Dodging hard stuff: Skipped a coding course once ’cause “Not my vibe.” Fixed AF.
- Thinking effort’s lame: Used to believe talent was it, till I grinded guitar, calluses and all.
- Envy over inspiration: I’d scowl at successful folks; now I’m like “Teach me your fixed vs growth mindset tricks!”
It’s chaos, man. One minute I’m growth mindset guru, next I’m fixed mindset fossil, especially when I’m hangry or stuck in traffic. That’s life in the US—messy, real, full of potholes and second chances.
Wrapping this feels like stumbling out of a dive bar, thoughts fuzzy but honest. This fixed vs growth mindset thing? It’s a rollercoaster, like when I finally nailed a tricky recipe after burning it twice, cheering alone in my kitchen with my cat judging me. Embrace the screw-ups; they’re where the growth hides. So, what’s your deal? Drop a comment—share your fixed vs growth mindset moment or try jotting down one fail this week to see the shift. Hit me up; let’s keep it real.
